I came across an article about Kanye West having bipolar disorder, and I was reminded of my daughter and how we deal each day.

In January of 2016, my daughter, then 14 years old, was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I had noticed changes in her behavior months before her diagnosis, but I ignored it. I thought it was just stress from school. Then the time came when she harmed herself. I was alarmed!

Dealing with issues of mental health would vary among people, but here’s how I dealt and continue dealing.

Consult a specialist

The first thing I did was to consult a specialist. A lot of people were telling me there’s no need; that my daughter is just going through puberty, but I was not convinced. 

I understand that many parents would have second thoughts bringing their kids to specialists when they see some changes in their behavior. However, think of it this way: if your child turns out to be normal after the consultation, that is excellent! However, if your kid is found to have a disorder, you have just given yourself a chance to help your child. 

Heed the doctor’s advice

Per the doctor’s advice, I made sure all sharp objects and all things toxic in our house are kept out of my daughter’s reach. I had all our knives, scissors, even bug sprays locked in safe places. 

Shampoo and soap, even these kinds of stuff, were rationed. I would only hand my daughter a cap-full of shampoo and liquid soap whenever she would take a bath.

For about a year from when she was diagnosed, my daughter was not allowed to be behind locked doors, not even the bathroom door. In case something happens, I can easily barge into the room.

I had to do all those things then because of her suicidal ideations. Now, she has better control of her emotions, so there’s no more locking of stuff, but there’s close monitoring still, like an adult should be present when she’s preparing food since she’s going to use utensils.

Monitor medication 

I know some people are against medications, but I had accepted that bipolar disorder has something to do with chemical imbalances in the brain that medicines could address, so I said yes to meds. 

I made sure she takes her medicine, and I hand her the pills. I don’t let her take it on her own in fear that she might overdose (like she once attempted). 

Homeschooling 

I was told that I had to watch my daughter 24/7. That means sending her back to a brick and mortar school is not an option since I can’t see her every hour of every day. 

Stopping was not an option; she didn’t want to be left behind. Thus, we decided to homeschool. It was not easy, but it had to be done. 

Change in diet

Her medicine makes her hungry all the time, so she is at risk of obesity. I had to change her diet, giving her food rich in omega 3 and lots of vegetables. She eats little carbohydrates and sweets to avoid risks of diabetes since she is gaining weight. Controlling her weight was and still is a challenge.

Therapies and conversations

We make sure we never miss a doctor’s appointment and therapy. Her communication with her doctor has been helpful: she opens up more now.

I was surprised, however, to discover that her conversations with other people with bipolar disorder is helping her. I thought it would be a trigger. However, she says she likes talking to them because she feels “normal.” She can speak freely without the fear of being judged. 

Let her enjoy 

One huge issue when we were starting was how to deal with her mental health while we’re stuck at home.  

I let her do what makes her happy. Since she is homeschooled, she takes courses online that she likes. She play games when she wants. She can read books extensively. So long as her activity would not trigger her, we’re good.

However, later I realized, just because she is bipolar, doesn’t mean she has to be confined at home. Eventually, I let her meet her friends, join the church choir, and go on camps. I even let her do volunteer work in my sister’s dental clinic, in a friend’s tutorial center, and in places she finds interesting—anything to keep her busy.  

Communicate

Perhaps the most important, yet difficult, part of dealing with my daughter’s bipolar disorder is talking to her. It’s tough because she’s not one to say what she feels, but it’s worth trying. 

I had to show my daughter that I am a friend and not just a mom. It took quite a long time before she started opening up. In truth, there are still times when she would clam up, and when that happens, I seek her siblings’ help. They seem to do a better job when this happens.

It’s been years since my daughter was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, but I don’t think it’s over. There are still episodes, though not as scary as in the earlier years. Still, we deal. 

A friend of mine has a son with bipolar disorder. Had he given up on his son, this boy would not have grown up to be a doctor.  

Bipolar disorder should not disable a child. It should not prevent them from reaching their goals. It can be managed. No one says it’s easy, but it can be done.

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